I underestimated just how difficult going back to work would be. I am not a big fan of my job as is and having to leave my baby to go back to a job I am less than positive about seems sacrilegious. I feel like I am somehow selling out, like it would be less of a blow to my boy if I were going somewhere where I was living out my passion, making more of a difference and being more effective. I’ve gone back to complete and utter chaos and old destructive habits and patterns. Man those things die HARD and they don’t go down without a fight. I feel like I’m taking blows of negativity from all sides. I Am in DESPERATE need of change. Starting with self. I can’t stay the way I am and see results. This I know all too well. It’s indeed hard to teach an old dog new tricks. Problem is, I KNOW the tricks but I’m too lazy/hardhead/”entitled” to go through the steps and do the work. I have to ask myself “Girl hell do you Really WANT to change?”….I wonder if I will be honest with myself.
THAT is as hard as taking the first step.
Until next time.
Be Bold be blessed be beautifully you.