Here lately I have found myself thinking a lot about my relationships; with my daughter, my husband, my sister, my mother, my father, my family, my friends, co-workers and acquaintances. I have been asking myself what kind of relationship vibe I am exuding. Am I distant? Overbearing? Permissive? Oppressive? Negative? Cooperative? Am I all in to that relationship in that moment and time? Do I expect my friends to do something for me that I would not do for them, or will I give as much of myself as I expect them to give to me?
In my marriage I have had to be diligent in learning my husbands love language. If I don’t I will constantly feel that he does love me as much as the lady’s husband across the street, at the church, at my job or on Facebook does. I have had to block out the noise of other peoples relationships and focus solely on mine. I remind myself that I do not know the actual status of their relationship, nor may I be ready willing or able to deal with the things they have to deal with in their relationship. Granted the ones that “look” happy may be truly happy, but is that happiness coming at price that I cannot or will not pay? I think that is a good way of looking at it.
That and the fact that whenever I will see the seeds of jealousy creeping in and I begin to question why he hasn’t bought me flowers or wrote me a poem or the many other million things I can think of I STOP and instantly think of all the Good things he HAS done and how he constantly tries to show his love and NOT just say it. THAT act requires me to be in the moment, to think on the good things and smile.
I found that this approach works with my relationship with God. When I begin to mumble murmur and complain (as I often do) I have to literally tell myself to STOP and marvel at His goodness and what He has already done. When my flesh wants to fight that I have to bring the scriptures that I have hidden in my heart up and go into worship mode. Because God is way to good to me for me to question His every move in my life all the time.
I have been trying to also use this strategies in my other relationship, some it works in and others not so much, as I can’t seem to find one thing good they have done. Then it is at this moment that I must question that relationship and how I will deal with it going forward. There are many work, church and family relationships that I have had to just give to God completely and allow Him to heal me from the pain that has been inflicted on both parties. I am grateful that He is yet working on my and through me with these relationships and while they are taking longer than I would like to heal I know that there is a lesson and a blessing in the going through. All in all I am very blessed, EVEN with the handful of people I can call my friend safely.
Until we meet again…
Be Blessed, Be Bold, Be Beautiful…