Dreams, personal legends, love, wanderlust, and The Alchemist.

Last night I made an impulse purchase of The Alchemist. I am not sure how the thought popped into my head. Maybe I saw it on tv. I do know that I had been romancing the idea of reading it since I heard of it years ago at a poetry reading.  Never got around to it due to school,  work and life.  Just reading the forward sparked immense interest and feelings I haven’t had in a long time. I have ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS wanted to travel, to see the world the people in it, experience other cultures.  I have always been sensitive to the needs and thoughts of others and knew that what I would become one day lied in those gifts. But somewhere I forgot those gifts that made me uniquely me. Life stepped in and I forgot my desires. I don’t like redundancy,  but maturity, bills,  responsibility required that I work and all the work I could “find” was redundant. So I worked. And died a little more inside everyday. But The Alchemist.
In the back of my mind I always knew that I was depriving my family of my full self by not living my personal legend, my dream, my calling.  I can no longer do that. I cannot deny my husband the pleasure of seeing a wife immensely happy and loving, I cannot deny my daughter the pleasure of seeing her mother thriving and giving and I cannot deny my son the pleasure of only knowing that mother. I can no longer shrink back from being me out of fear of failure or success. I love them too much and I truly believe that in allowing myself to grow, to believe, to thrive; it will give them permission to do the same. If nothing else,  I am excited about the possibilities that await. A renewing that is to come.  I cant wait to see what opens up before me and my family.  All things happen for a reason.  Even a simple purchase of a book.
To God be the glory!
Off to more reading…
Reading it to Jaxson too.

Until next time. ..

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